04. April
Chapter four of 2025 is done. Are we kidding?! No one is kidding me, it’s just going so fast.
This month was pretty much the same as last month. Not working, family, friends, couch rotting, but also staying consistent with finding a new job, and I did. By the time you’re reading this, I am well into my first week of and I’m tired. I was hoping that I would find something by May, so I think I quietly manifested this.
I loved every second of April though. Spending Mondays with my sisters and my nephews was especially fun, because it’s something I wouldn’t normally get to do on a Monday.
One thing I’ve learned these past two months that I’ve had off, is that slow days are okay. There were a lot of slow days and just days where I didn’t know what to do with myself. That first week that I had off, I woke up and walked around the house being like ‘what do I do?’. It was quiet and it was the start of the work week and I was at home. Don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed this time doing absolutely f**king nothing. It was a change. My routine that I was so used to changed from logging on and checking emails, to waking up and watering my sunflowers. It was different, but it was good different. I was able to disconnect, and that is incredibly important to me now. I wasn’t as my phone as much and was able to spend more time reading books, going for walks and doing online courses.
I’ve realised that I like working. I feel like I went a little stir crazy without working. I did my best to stay productive and do life admin things that I would normally only get the chance to do on the weekend, but I loved the sleep-ins and being able to take my time and not having anything planned which is funny, because I am absolutely someone who thrives on having routine.
I’m very hard on myself and no one puts more pressure on me than I do, not even my mum. While I know losing my job wasn’t my fault, I was still thinking about the whole situation and what I could’ve done, but the truth is, nothing because it wasn’t my decision and the only thing I could’ve controlled was how I left it, and I did so, peacefully. Everything in my life I feel has happened exactly the way it’s supposed to, and though I don’t always like it, I try to embrace it.
As I write this, I’m in bed with my fluffy blanket and a slice of cheesecake next to me (delicious btw). This is and has been my life for 8 weeks, but I’m ready to get back to work, and I’m back now! :)