02. February

February was a bit of a whirlwind. When I posted my January blog post, my grandma passed away that day and I found out while I was at work. My dad called me and the tone of his voice was sad. I feel like you always know when something has happened, or maybe it’s just me, but I always pick up on a vibe and just know when something isn’t right. He said, “Ces, I just want to let you know…”. And right there, I knew. 

You never know what’s going to happen. Things can change in a second and that moment shows just that. It was a very quick call and right after I went out to lunch, and was trying to keep a smile on my face. I didn’t want to tell anyone at first, especially at work because I do try to keep some things private. I do need that balance of keeping work, work and my personal life to myself, and if I want to share I will when I’m ready or I might not say anything, depends how I’m feeling and who I’m telling.

My mum asked me if I wanted to go to the funeral because her and my dad were planning and looking to book flights. When she asked I didn’t hesitate. I wanted to go and I didn’t want to have any regrets. I didn’t want to be at work sitting at my desk thinking ‘Ah what would have happened if I went to the Philippines?’. Work is still going to be there when I come back, nothing is going to change and let me tell you nothing did. Same old sh*t.

This was far more important than work and I knew I had to go. Flew out on the Monday and arrived back home Friday morning, so was literally there for 3 days. Even though it was sad, it was really beautiful as well. When I think of joy and a beautiful smile, and someone who lived life to the fullest, I see a face and it’s hers. It’s my Lola. It’s my Lola Pachot. 

Lola means ‘Grandma’ in Tagalog. (Filipino)

The start of the month was booking flights and attending a funeral, then back home, back to work and getting back into a routine. I was tired this month, but I was taking my iron tablets, so we’re good. 

In between all of the chaos, there are those moments of catching up with girlfriends and spending time with my family, and my nieces and nephews, and I love it. Always a mood lifter. February is a pretty busy month for me in terms of birthdays so there was a lot of eating cake and I’m not mad about it.

What else?

Oh I got made redundant for the second time, yeah that’s a whole thing. I’m still processing, but don’t worry I’ll have more to write about on that later. By the time you’re reading this I would’ve finished up my last day, and I’ll probably be out for a drink, or two. Here’s to 3 years of hard work, laughs, good times, tears (oh boy) and many lessons.

But with all that has happened this month, I move with how I choose to live everyday, and that is with gratitude.

At the end of my blog post for January, I asked that you cross your fingers for me on the job front. Keep crossing them, please.

Watch me sleep in on Monday, well you can’t watch me, but that’s what I’ll do to kick off my first day of unemployment in 3 years.